I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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