Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
