R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
