some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize