If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
