All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
