I can't breathe out the right side of my face
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
