I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
