I think I just saw someone hide a body.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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