Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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