I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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