the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize