Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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