On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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