You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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