it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
