I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
