We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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