so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
