oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What a dumb baby whore.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
