make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Randomize
