the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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