I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
