Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
