Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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