I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
