I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
