I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I smell stomach acid.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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