Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
