if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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