hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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