boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
