You smell like stripper and shame
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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