I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
