I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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