if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
