Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
