If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
