Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
