Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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