what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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