I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
