I'd wear matching sweaters with you
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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