yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize