Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have demons in me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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