Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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