question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
