You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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