dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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