Already got asked if we're dating
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
