Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
