whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
