we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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