Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
