you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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