I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
