i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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