What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
