I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
