i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
