Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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