I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
