I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
