it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
