I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
