I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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