Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
