Pappa wants mamma naked
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
