I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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