are you still at the devil's house?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
