adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
