We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
