Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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