i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
