i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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