where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
