Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
