It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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