ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
