i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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