i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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