i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
